Bay Bay Bay

    I sign on this from time to time, mostly to see funny pictures or see Gabby Giammarco’s postings of Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love.  However, I am experiencing a see-saw effect of emotion that will not seem to quit, so I figure writing on my favorite online diary may help.

    Toast to you. Person who lingers in my mind.

     That night hour comes. I lay down and shut my eyes. I cant fall asleep.  I shut my eyes and see my internal mind.  My mind consists of you sitting in a folding chair, and the minute my eyes shut, I begin unfolding a similar chair to sit next to you.  It is quiet and I stay there with you for hours until I finally reach sleep.  I remain there with you in silence.  If I were to create my mind a physical picture this is what it would be.

    Often I lose sight of my physical presence and end up in a dark internal place. I’m sick of you doing this to me.  I can shake you for months, but you creep back..you always manage it.  This is my proclamation that I am done with you. I am done with letting life pass me by. I am done with pretending to live. I am going to do what you can not, which is live my life.  You have no sense of spark or fun.  Have fun sitting alone doing nothing because I am done. I am very much done.